Why I choose to NOT label my sexuality

originally published september 28 2017

Why I choose to NOT label my sexuality.

Lately, the question about my sexuality suddenly appeared in my life repeatedly. 

A question, which I had never really answered for myself, because I had never felt the need to. I have loved a few people in my life — some platonically, some romantically, some male, some female.

I never had felt as though anybody cared about my sexuality, probably because nobody had questioned it until this point.

At first, when some friends started to ask me about it, assumably referring to somebody specific, I did not mind.

I feel comfortable and confident in the way I love people. Whether the same gender as me, or not...I have always deeply believed that the true importance and challenge is to learn to love another person — full stop.

 We all should love someone and be kind to everyone!

Gender, age and race have always come second, or third, or fourth. Of course, some crushes confuse me more than others, but again, that doesn't necessarily co-relate with the persons gender.

I have deeply loved people, that I had never believed I would, when I first met them.

I have been deeply hurt by people, who I never believed they would, and I will most likely meet and fall for people that I have no idea even exist at this moment in time.

It is O.K. for me to be asked about my sexuality.

"Are you Bi? Are you straight? What are you?"

It is O.K. for me to be asked, but don't expect me to feel obligated to give you an answer.

If I ever fall in love with you...I promise, I will let you know ;)

AND be aware, that for many individuals, this can be a very intrusive and private question, that you do not have any right to get an answer to.

I have been working on myself tirelessly to detach myself from labels, that I had given myself. I won't give myself one now.

I have been fighting for my individuality and freedom. 

I have been trying so hard to give myself permission to break the rules and express myself as freely as possible.

I also have watched dear friends and loved ones struggling incredibly with their sexuality and the stereotypes, judgments and hardships that come with outing and defining ones sexuality.

I hope that in the future, nobody has to feel obligated to justify who they love to anybody other than the person they feel deeply for.

I hope that everybody can feel in peace and comfortable with their sexuality and express themselves freely without the pressure of "coming out" to anybody.

I'll leave it at that.

Lets make sure we are kind human beings, learning to express love, feel love and act on love. We can think about gender once we have mastered this incredibly important skill.