Struggling in a "perfect" World
originally published November 27, 2018
I guess we are all struggling in some way or another.
Somehow that’s the part of life that makes you become your better self, isn’t it ?
I feel like on social media it always looks like all people have „figured it out“ and it seems like you are the only one having no clue on what you are sometimes doing and struggling with too many things.
But when we think about it...
Aren’t we all struggling?
Aren’t we all having no idea of what’s going on most of the time?
Aren’t we all tired of seeing “perfect” life’s on the internet when all we want to see is people we can relate too and connect with to feel understood?
Don’t get me wrong!
I am totally guilty of showing the good parts of life on my social media.
I like to show people the fun and pretty parts like most people -
I get it, I really do!
We all want to be uplifting or inspiring or even just hiding our insecurities or fails under the cover of a perfect social media when life is getting rough in the real world.
It’s human, it makes total sense - but that’s not reality, and I feel like that is not everything I want to share.
That is what I looked like during the past months ( I am tired in that picture as well)
I lost my tan, my under eye circles are real, I even feel like my eyes look dissymmetrical from stress and leak of sleep and I also have the worst skin situation I can remember with a rush under my eyes and inflammations under my skin.
I have hustled and struggled a lot in my 21 years of life - and that’s great!
I can say that I am proud of myself of what I have conquered and experienced.
However, for me, there is a line between struggling and hustling in a good but uncomfortable way and life situations when it gets too stressful, too exhausting, too hard, too busy and too unhealthy.
The past months I really have scratched the line!
I love my life, and many things make me feel calm, happy, excited and content,
but starting to study full time,
trying to establish a new life,
moving twice in two months,
trying to build a business and
make a young, growing relationship work all at the same time,
is flipping hard.
My boyfriend and I were together for half a year before we took the crazy step to actually move in with each other… in a different country.
Take note I am a total introvert and was traveling all by myself for three years before that - so the change was a challenge.
For me, the living-together part was the most significant change,
but for him it was the first time living in a different country, and I can speak for him when I am saying - not only I am struggling, he is too!
So we are both struggling and trying to keep our heads above the water.
Money is a subject.
Energy levels are a subject.
Personal space is a subject.
Balance is a subject.
Communication is a subject.
Finding friends is a subject.
Darkness and the cold of Scandinavia is a subject.
Bureaucracy is a subject…. The list goes on.
There are so many things to think and worry about - I don’t want to cry and have support or pity from you guys.
I chose this, and I am strong enough to walk back, evaluate my choices if needed, look at the situation I am facing and what I feel like is doing good to me or not.
However, I noticed how isolated I sometimes feel when I see all the great life's out there with all the perfect relationships and great houses at the beach
- actually it makes me feel sick a lot of the time because you somehow wish it would be you but than you can already smell the fakeness of it in miles away..
At least that’s what I think.
What gives me even more frustration is when I encounter this dishonesty on social media in my friend's group.
Do you know that situation when you know backstories about breaking relationships, depressed friends and drug addictions, family problems etc,
all you can find on social media is perfect lifes and happy smiles?
I am not the person to judge,
analyzing it I can find a million psychological explanations and justifications.
But as I have the choice to either participate or not - I want to chose not to participate.
I don’t want my platform to be dishonest and part of a fake image that makes my followers not feel connected to me but isolated from my "perfect" life.
I do want to share positive and inspiring content that speaks from my soul because:
That is me.
But as much as I am this girl I also am a sad girl, a girl that has difficulties with trusting other people, with opening up, with not being strong, with spending too much of her energy, etc….
I want to contribute to more realness, more connection, more together
instead of against, I want to see people be friends and stop bullying each other and show their real self because we are real people with real feelings - getting lost in a fake world has no value for your soul.