Sometimes I get so confused.
I am so confused, being a woman in a „modern“, „progressive“, „western“ society
Where it is pretended that women have the same rights as men and they aren’t suppressed anymore.
This is what they say, this is the picture everyone wants to see, and still, I feel and see so much injustice and so much inequality towards minorities. I see bullying, racism, sexism and homophobia every day.
It starts with my parents being scared that I travel by myself (because the world seems not to be save for a young woman) and it ends with me not being taken seriously in meetings because I am female and young.
If it is true that western society is so progressive and modern… then, Why do I still feel caged in my own body because everything I hear day-in-day-out is that I am not good enough, not skinny enough and not beautiful enough and that all that matters to my existence are these components?
If this is true that western society is so progressive and modern… then, why are my female friends not earning the same amount of money that my male friends make with the same job?
If this is true that western society is so modern and progressive… then, why can I not take my shirt off whenever I feel like it, but my guy friends can?
If this is true…. Why do so many other women and I still have to justify a past of sexual abuse to people that think they are allowed to have an opinion on it. And why can every single girlfriend of mine tell me several stories of sexual assault that were never taken seriously, while most my guy friends can’t recall a single scenario in which they were inappropriately touched or even raped and threatened?
Why do I have to prove that I have a very well working brain, arms and legs, and I am not stupid just because someone thinks I am pretty?
Why do you have to „just accept“ all these gross sexual comments on my social media and all the messages that are „normal“ because „I put myself out there“? Why is cyberbullying and threatening people for their sexual interests or their gender still a thing?
If it was true that I, as a woman, am treated equally in the society that I live in. Why do I have this anger inside of me?
Why do I have these doubts? Why do I always feel like my voice is not loud enough for all the women that face so much injustice daily, no matter how loud I scream, no matter how many people I can reach?
Anger does not solve anything, but so does denial.
I don’t want my actions to be driven by anger but by love and compassion.
I want to write from a place of courage and vulnerability. Still, I would lie if I would pretend that the manipulative system and all the lies and inactions that are happening around many important subjects aren’t making me furious some days. I am human just like everyone else, and today I feel frustrated.